Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize