its not stalking. its research.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
