So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
