IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
