is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she looked like the before picture.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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