Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
