As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
