Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
