After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
