I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize