What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
