why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
