Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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