i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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