WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
