are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
