his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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