The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
