So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
