Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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