My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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