and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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