I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize