If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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