U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cannot find my penis.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Randomize
