We're facebook friends in real life
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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