Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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