Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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