so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
