It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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