God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize