well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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