do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
