I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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