No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
