If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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