he wants to bone in the snuggie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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