Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
