everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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