new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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