eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
