so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
