AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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