So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
