just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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