I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
don't judge my taste in strippers
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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