You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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