when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
