I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
