MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
