The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
