she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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