I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
