I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love you. Go after that dick
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
