Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
