He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
