Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
