Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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