Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
