I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
