we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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