I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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