Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
