So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
