I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
