Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I look better un-naked...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
