Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
