You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
