i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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