I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
