PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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