Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
