maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
