Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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