I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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