He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
