Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
