I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
